Ever found yourself expecting the impossible; perhaps frustrated, angry or even hurt when it failed to materialize?
Sounds foolish when said out loud, but too often I find myself succumbing to this brand of fantastical thinking. When I don’t get what I’m after, I can get angry and make the situation worse.
Essentially, it’s like Sisyphus blaming gravity for his burden. Can you relate?
Let me bring this closer to home with an example.
I am a middle manager in an industrial manufacturing operation. I’m no Elon Musk, but I love what I do and the people I work with.
If asked, others would say I lead with my gut, often causing me to ignore obvious roadblocks or to prioritize action over fact finding. They would also say that, at the end of the day, I am open to feedback and am committed to correcting mistakes. At a 50,000’ level, you might say I have a ‘forgiveness is better than permission’ flavor to my leadership.
Although I have demonstrable success with this approach over multiple years and in various capacities, I work inside a process driven organization with a strong preference for permission seekers. Rather than adjust, I keep driving to change the mindset of my leadership, if not the entire 10,000+ employee culture.
In a recent bought of misguided ‘heroics’ I escalated to the brink of unemployment. Peak fantastical thinking.
The interesting question now becomes – what next?
Perhaps the answer is as simple as dropping the expectation that my track record of strong results justifies special handling? Perhaps I should pursue a new opportunity where coloring outside the lines is more highly valued?
Am I standing on principle or am I just addicted to the conflict? My therapist points out I have a tendency to extremes and reminds me to pace myself and seek out my emotional center.
For now at least the move is to keep my head down as I continue to reflect, here’s what I konw for sure:
Unrealistic Expectations = Premeditated Resentments